So it’s been quite a long, long time. If I recall correctly, a senior year has come and gone and now a freshman year of college has begun. In fact it may have been Z’s junior year when I last posted with any regularity.
So here I am, as confused as ever. I know you’ve missed my belly aching, soul searching and general curiosity with the meaning of my life. Today I experienced part 1 of a sermon series on disconnectedness. What causes us to be disconnected, and the resulting feelings and emotions that are often experienced when we are disconnected.
I think I’ve been disconnected for most of this year. I’m not sure why, but I feel like I’ve reverted to 2003 or something. I’ve lost what I had found and a good chunk of my passion for life has died.
If the wrong person reads this, she won’t understand what I mean. Let’s just hope she doesn’t read it, shall we? I miss feeling a part of something that was bigger than me. I miss sharing my life with other people. I know having a significant other means I have a unique individual to share my life with. Oddly, there are things I don’t want to share with her or can’t share with her. Maybe this is because I’m still “alone” in my head most of the time. Maybe it’s because I need a place where I can be me without being “Us”.
I don’t really know. I can’t understand why I feel the way I do right now, and I know I’m upsetting other people because I’m unwilling or unable to communicate with them.
So here’s my reintroduction to you. I’ll spare you who I am. If you’re reading this I guess and hope that you know. If you’re out there, leave me a comment. Hopefully this new upgrade is free of comment spam.
To Robert - Thank you. I’ve missed this and I hope I get back in the swing of things. I’ve been missing the therapy for a long time now.
